The Radical Resilience Guide to Smashing Your Goals
We all need something to strive for. In our work, in our personal lives and, if we’re caregivers, in our caring. Not only can our goals help us define what we really want in life, they can also give us more fulfilled emotions about ourselves and our lives every time we smash them.
Let’s explore how we can make the goals we set ourselves more achievable and help us reach a specific result. That way our goals become useful tools for progress, instead of being dreams that can’t come true. Or, even worse, reasons to feel bad about ourselves when we fail to accomplish them.
Why Do We Set Ourselves Goals?
Setting ourselves goals as a positive act feels like an idea that has been around forever, and to an extent, that’s true. Classical Greek philosopher Aristotle was probably the first to speculate that action can be caused by purpose. Another way to think about it is that to achieve something, start by making a decision about the 'WHAT' you want to achieve and set out the intention and commitment to make it happen.
Turning that philosophical notion into something more tangible (and useful) came from American psychologist Edwin A Locke who, just over 50 years ago, formally developed his groundbreaking Goal-setting Theory.
Locke’s work determined that setting goals can help us succeed in four ways.
Choice: Choosing a goal helps us direct what we do towards reaching that goal.
Effort: Having a goal helps us try just that bit harder - particularly compared to a situation where you have no goal.
Persistence: When the going gets tough, keeping your eyes on the prize helps develop our tenacity.
Behavior: Having a goal can help us change the way we approach tasks, to become more positive about them.
How Can Goal-setting Work In My Life?
If you think Goal-setting theory sounds all well and good, but mainly geared for the workplace… well, there’s some truth in that. The theory was originally developed with business in mind.
However, there’s good evidence that setting life goals can help improve your happiness or anything that presents a challenge to you, your time, your health and life overall.
In fact, it’s even better than that for those of us who are becoming (or aim to become) Radically Resilient Caregivers!
What Kind Of Goals Should I Set For Myself?
The Goal-setting theory studies led by Edwin Locke showed that the more ambitious the goal, the more it helps improve performance. So while your goals must demand some effort to achieve, that doesn’t mean your goals can't be broken down into more manageable chunks in order to achieve them. You’re only human!
There are some other factors to take into account when establishing or laying out your goals. Luckily, there’s an easy way to sum up everything a goal should be.
SMART Goals, Ready To Be Smashed
In 1981, a team led by George T Doran developed a useful mnemonic acronym to help us define our goals: S.M.A.R.T. Setting goals following the SMART template is a great first step towards smashing them.
(S) Your Goal Should Be Specific
Vague goals don’t work. It’s no good promising yourself you’ll “do better” or “be more caring” or even “get fitter”. We’ve all tried those kinds of goals and they don't yield the results one is looking for. Get specific in order to get results. “I’ll set aside 2 hours a day for my self improvement course” is specific. So is “I’ll always welcome the person I care for with a smile”. You’ll smash those, no problem.
(M) Your Goal Should Be Measurable
That doesn’t mean your goals have to have some kind of scale from 0 to 100. It means that to be achievable - or even better, smashable - you have to have a quantifiable measurement in order to track your progress. If your aim is to read more, a measurable goal would be to read one book completely every month. There’s no question regarding your progress towards your goal and your path to success.
(A) Your Goal Should Be Attainable/Assignable
Do choose a goal that will stretch you. But don’t be unrealistic. What may help is to break down your overall objective into smaller stepping stones that will be attainable, and to turn those stepping stones into your larger goals. “I will run a marathon” is a massive ambition for anyone. “I will run 1km three times a week” is a goal that will start to help you reach your ambition over time.
(R) Your Goal Should Be Relevant/Realistic
Choosing a goal that will move you forward and that you so strongly desire to smash is a great way to set yourself up for success. Many of us secretly feel pressured into setting the kinds of goals we believe others think we should set. Avoid this at all costs. Your goals are yours alone - make them relevant to your life and/or business and what you want to accomplish.
(T) Your Goal Should Be Time-related
Deadlines are helpful motivators. They certainly are for me! So when you define your goal or goals, always commit yourself to an end-date. Again, make sure it’s attainable as well as requiring some effort. Having a goal of finding a cure for the common cold by next Friday isn’t helpful. Creating a habit of doing 30 minutes of cardio each morning for the next 21 days is more attainable and motivating as the greater effort will lie in the short-term period.
If your goals are SMART, they’ll be easy for you to smash.
Special Goals As A Resilient Caregiver
As a caregiver, your opportunity to use goals as stepping stones and motivators as well as enjoying the satisfaction of smashing them has an extra dimension. Essentially, there’s the person you care for to consider.
As a Resilient Caregiver, there are goals that you will want to set around your selfcare, your boundaries, your energy.
There are the goals of the person you are caring for and you will want to work towards how both of your goals can align with each other so that you both get the best from each other.
Imagine what goals can be set to smash as a team, making it a win-win for everyone! Making sure you stick to the S.M.A.R.T. principals using more bite-sized goals will allow you both to SMASH them daily. This could be as simple as....
Balancing Your Goals To Make Smashing Them Easy
In my book, Break Free From Caregiver Fatigue (Buy your copy here) I deal with balancing your caregiving and your personal life in detail. Achieving the same kind of balance in goal setting and goal smashing is just as important.
I like to think of the three entities (you, the person you care for, and the two of you as a team) who can each set goals as the three angles of a triangle.
If you think back to grade school geometry, we all know that the angles in each corner of a triangle will always add up to 180 degrees. That means if the angle in one corner increases, the others have to decrease to compensate. The danger is that one corner, one person’s goals, becomes too big or too dominant.
So if your goals become consumed by the goals you and the person you care for set together, you won’t feel the fulfillment of success as fully.
To achieve balance - a triangle with equal angles in each corner (called an equilateral triangle as my Math teacher drilled into me) you have to make sure that your goals, their goals and your goals together get equal precedence.
The best way to do this is also the simplest! It is to talk about your goals together.
Now You’ve Got Your Goals, Go Smash ‘Em
I can’t tell you the best, most relevant goals to set for yourself. But if you follow the steps I’ve outlined here, you’ll help set yourself up for success. Then the great feeling you’ll get from smashing one goal will spur you on to smash the next. And the next. It’s a virtuous circle that I’ve found motivating in my caregiving, in my work and in my personal life. I know that you can do it, too. If you’re a caregiver, a mother, a colleague and/or a boss, you can use the tips in this blog as well as those in my book Break Free From Caregiver Fatigue (Buy your copy here) to focus your efforts, smash your goals and find your happiness. If you are wanting some help with figuring out what goals make sense for you at this time and are looking to be held accountable let's get started with a call!
The best place to keep up with my progress in smashing my goals, as well as getting inspiration to set and smash your own is on my instagram. Follow me there and you’ll never miss a practical caregiving tip - or for a little light relief, some of the cutest adventures of my rabbit!
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